We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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