your thong is hanging out like whoa
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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