yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
