go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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