I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My breasts were aching with rage.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
