okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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