The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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