I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
