Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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