You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
