Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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