Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
