you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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