hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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