The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
