he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
