in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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