Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
