if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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