I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
