I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
