distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
