there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
