oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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