Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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