Well apparently he's into motor boating.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
