you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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