Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
