yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
