i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
being pregnant is like rehab
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
