Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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