Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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