Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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