I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
