I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
