Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
