ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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