508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
