I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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