The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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