That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
