Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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