I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
