I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
