"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
