hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
