dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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