I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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