Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
