i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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