oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You pole danced in your parka.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How does it feel to date your dad?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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