Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
