dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
