And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i believe in u and ur pee
soo... how was my night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
